Sunday, April 29, 2007

Tragedy Cumi Hitam

"Ya yang waras ngalah lah" ucapnya sambil mengaduk - aduk garpunya kedalam sepiring gado-gado. Sementara itu jari tangannya satu lagi menari-nari diatas touch pad di Power Book Mac G4 nya untuk memamerkan layout print ad yang baru dibuatnya ke teman disebelahnya. "emang dia mau ngalah sama loe, jek?" kata temannya itu dan tertawa keras sekali. Aku dan dua teman lain di meja itu turut tertawa. "hah ?...sialan" katanya sambil meneruskan penjelasannya mengenai arti dari pesan iklan yang akan di muat di sebuah directory periklanan. "Jadi gambar ini kalo diliat dari sudut yang berbeda punya arti dan message yang berlainan. Bisa optimis, realistis, ilusionis ato juga pesimis" demikian dia menutup penjelasannya. Sementara itu dua temanku yang lain sibuk membicarakan jadwal rekaman untuk album terbaru mereka dan membahas studio mana yang akan mereka pakai.

Aku duduk menatap pesananku yang baru datang, cumi hitam dengan cabe hijau. "Looks good" kataku dalam hati. Suara - suara mereka terdengar jauh dan seperti gaung dalam kepala ku yang saat itu terasa seperti ruang hampa. Sesekali aku dengar tawa mereka dan bunyi sound alert Yahoo Messenger dari Power Book yang tersambung oleh Wi-Fi gratis di restoran dengan makanan khas Jawa yang menawarkan setting dan design interior seperti chilling lounge dan presentasi makanan a la fine dining.

Aku perhatikan tata letak makanan di piringku yang terlihat agak sepi dan kontras sekali dengan dekorasi minimalis antara warna tinta cumi yang hitam pekat, potongan besar cabe paprika dan nasi putih diatas piring lebar berwarna putih. "Looks good" gumamku dalam hati. Sepi tapi kelihatannya enak. Hidangan ku malam ini membuatku kembali teringat akan santapan cumi yang berbeda di sebuah meja makan beberapa bulan yang lalu. Sebuah makan malam yang cozy dan berlanjut dengan obrolan yang kalau mengambil istilah dari seorang teman lain merupakan "mind blowing conversation" di teras rumah dengan banyak tanaman hijau. Aku tersenyum. Senyum pahit. Pahit karena rasa sepi dan getir di hati atau karena lapar yang terasa sejak tadi sore, akupun tidak tahu pasti. Aku ingat pada malam itupun aku sangat lapar tapi suasana hati pada saat itu sangat jauh dari rasa sepi. Aku menggeleng kepalaku seakan mengusir rasa sepi untuk tidak tetap bertengger disitu selama aku menyantap cumi hitam yang ada di depanku ini.

"Slamatzzzzzzzz...." tiba-tiba terdengar seseorang menyapa dari arah ujung meja. Ternyata seorang lagi teman atau dalam istilah bodohku satu lagi agen ganda telah datang untuk bergabung. Agen ganda, sebuah cap yang aku tempel ke segelintir orang yang sering datang ke kantorku yang berada di daerah Gandaria. Dia langsung duduk di kursi sebelah ku dan membongkar tas laptopnya. "Serius amat si loe pak?" dengan mulut setengah penuh aku bertanya ke si agen ganda. "Sedikit cukup serius juga sih kalo diliat situasinya pak, mau email booking konfirmasi about gig nya si Monday Michiru next month.....tapi yang penting suasananya tetep aman kan?" jawabnya sambil menusuk Wi-Fi adapter kedalam tubuh laptop Sony Vaio nya. Yang lain hanya terkekeh mendengar jawabannya, sudah biasa dengan gaya bicaranya yang sering ngga nyambung dan acakadut antara dua bahasa itu. Aku hanya bergumam "ohh....." sambil merenung. Sebutan agen ganda dengan double meaning itu membawaku ke sebuah istilah lain yang mirip, agen beras. Lamunan ku mengenai beras terhenti ketika salah satu dari teman musisi yang ada di meja itu melempar ide untuk tahun baru. "ke Lombok yuk tahun baru" katanya. "Bali bosen, Jakarta mati lah....kita ke Lombok aja rame-rame" lanjutnya. "Setuju, kita di tempat Philipe aja di Gili Meno" kata si agen ganda sambil tetap sibuk mengirim emailnya. "Jadi kita bikin Ibiza nih di Gili ?" kata si pembuat reklame. "Berangkatzzzz pak" kataku sambil menghabiskan sisa nasi di piringku yang sekarang sudah berubah menjadi hitam.

Sementara obrolan tahun baru terus berlanjut dengan rencana membuat Ibiza a la Lombok, aku menatap cheting atau tempat nasi tradisional khas Jawa terlihat sudah setengah kosong di depan ku. Kembali pikiranku melayang dan melamun mengenai beras. Aku berpikir mengenai impor beras yang sedang ramai dibicarakan. Kalau akan mengambil istilah si pembuat iklan tadi mengenai arti dan pesan dari design yang dia buat maka aku sedikit agak bingung mau memilih yang mana. Negara agraris kok masih harus meng impor beras. Sama tidak masuk akalnya dengan kondisi negara yang memiliki minyak tapi terus menerus menaikan harga BBM . Apakah keputusan untuk mengimpor beras merupakan langkah realistis, ilusionis atau pesimis? Padahal stok beras tidak kurang dan kalaupun akan menurun karena harus memberi makan rakyat miskin kenapa tidak beli saja dari petani lokal sehingga dapat membantu sektor pertanian dimana banyak rakyat miskin yang bekerja di sektor itu. Ini lebih baik daripada buang uang untuk membeli dari luar negeri yang otomatis pasti menggunakan mata uang asing. Makin miskin saja nanti negara kita. Aku membayangkan para petani beras itu pasti sedang merasakan rasa sepi yang jauh lebih dalam dengan adanya distorsi pasar seperti ini. Mungkin juga rasa getir dan pahit atas ketidak adilan yang mereka rasakan dari tidak adanya keberpihakan pemerintah disisi mereka.

Lamunan ku melayang kembali ke teras dengan banyak tanaman hijau itu dan teringat dengan plakat yang di tempel di satu sisi dinding luar dirumah itu. Sebuah penghargaan untuk jasa atas rasa nasionalis yang tinggi dari salah satu pemilik rumah yang telah almarhum. Pasti beliau pun merasakan getir dan pahit yang sama saat ini kalau masih hidup. "Ya yang waras ngalah lah" kembali terngiang di telingaku. Siapa yang waras dan siapa yang harus mengalah dalam situasi dan suasana yang tidak aman ini? Mudah -mudahan tahun baru yang akan datang ini akan membawa rasa optimis yang realistis dan bukan pesimis atau ilusionis dari hal-hal yang tidak masuk akal.

Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

Friday, February 04, 2005

Self - Inflicting Pleasure

The noise of busy airport terminal always sounds soothing to me. That female voice announcing flights flying off to cosmopolitan cities like Frankfurt and Prague or exotic destinations like Morocco and Bali is like an open invitation to escape the current dreading reality of my life. The transit terminal that morning smells of freshly brewed coffee from the coffee shops that just opened their doors to the global commuters from all around the world. By now I have a little less than an hour before it’s time to board the plane again continuing the flight to my final destination. I sit there in my usual corner table in one of the coffee shop with a cup of hot coffee in front of me. No, I never set foot in this place before but there was once upon a time that I declared every corner table all over the world to be mine.

As expected this corner table in this busy transit terminal has my name on it. I watched people come and go around me. The rush of business travelers hurried to meet their plane as if missing the next board meeting in some cities will proof to be deadly to their corporate careers. In deep contrast to the business travelers earlier I saw a couple of backpackers with their laid back attitude with all the time in the world on their side. My eyes caught the site of several stewardesses in different color uniforms with their compact hand carrier walked by in fast paced ignoring all the signage around them as if their beautiful long legs know exactly where to go. There is something comforting and intimate about stewardesses in the way they speak to you in a friendly and polite tone attending to your every need. I wonder how these women can manage to look so smart and attractive this early in the morning. Well, maybe I’m just crazy about women in uniform.I stared at a piece of white form in front of me wondering if I should fill it out now or later when I am already on board the plane.

I looked at my watch and saw that I still have enough time to leisurely finish my coffee and fill out the form if I wanted to. Secretly I have this longing desire to hear them announce that my flight would be delay therefore prolonging the time I can sit at my corner table. This could well be the reflection of my life at this moment which could use some transit time of its own from its everyday routines. Suddenly, I can just see my life sit at my corner table drinking my coffee in a busy international terminal without a care in the world while deciding which flight it choose to take to be the next destination, may that be an exotic or cosmopolitan ones. I looked again at the white disembarkation form distributed on board earlier by a sweet looking oriental stewardess in a high split body hugging Qipao dress.

I decided to just go ahead filling out the form. I filled out all the required information like name, passport number and flight number. After filling out the spaces stating my boring destination I see the boxes to check for Male or Female. This part always amuses me and I wonder why they use Sex as a heading instead of Gender. I felt like adding additional two boxes to choose for, Occasionally and Self Inflicting Pleasure.

Shattering my wish for the delay, I heard the announcement of my next flight. Grabbing my stuffs I start heading towards my gate. Choosing to walk instead of taking the automatic walkway I passed by the immigration counters with several line of people queuing. I noticed separate counters for Foreigners and Resident Passport Holders. They should have made one counter for me that marked Alien as I just didn’t feel like belonging to this universe right now.

Thinking along that line as I entered and smells that familiar scent of an airline cabin staring at the sweet smiles and greetings of the stewardess I wondered maybe I should’ve chose Female in that form before and that might turn my life around a little bit. Emerging in my next boring destination re-born as a new person could be well what I needed now.

Labels: , , , , ,

Friday, January 28, 2005

A Girl and a Used Book Store

I was standing there in a moment of indecisiveness on the side street of Kuta, Bali on a hot sticky afternoon with none whatsoever appealing options of where to go when this girl blurted out something about going to a used book store she accidentally saw the day before, somewhere in one of the nearby streets.

Breaking apart from the mainstream crowd we started walking a long stretch block on the narrow sidewalk amongst the cluttered traffic of motorbikes and cars not really sure if it was the right street. Still, I prefer getting lost rather than tolerating anymore lame jokes and self righteous remarks from the wannabes big shots vacationers.

My usual wandering mind started to play its funny tricks again as we walked the street. Somehow the weather forecast started to change drastically inside my head as the humid tropical heat started to evaporate and replace by the cool light autumn breeze escorted with a soft voice of Suzanne Vega's poetic folky song playing in the background. What triggered all that was probably my usual erratic banging in the head that connects useless series of separate events into one big scenario. Maybe it was from the search for this used book store and the fact that I have once lent her one of Haruki Murakami's book while we were listening to one of Vega’s literate poem like lyrics. As for the autumn breeze, well I guessed it goes well with the music which by the way transcended from another episode of another long walk and staying up late in some Mediterranean spot.

The blast of car horn brought me back to reality and I heard her soft happy cried pointing to the book store across the street on our right side. The noise of the steel chimes broke out as we opened the door alerting the middle aged proprietor of his out of towner customers. We started to make small conversations about his book collections as she browsed around the store that only has one ceiling fan working desperately to fight the heat. Although not really in the mood of buying anything as I almost ran out of cash I noticed the store has quite a collection of old and new books. Sitting there in the heat I heard she mumbled some apology about having to make me wait while she went over some list of books that she was searching. I smiled within realizing how little did she knew that being in that book store she has taken me to my first and probably only comfort zone during this trip. Finding some of the book she was looking and paying for them we exchange greetings with the friendly owner and walked out the door.

Walking towards the directions of the rendezvous point with the rest of the group we realized that we still have some time to kill. Needing some cold drinks to ease the heat we stop at one of the sidewalk café and sit on the bar. Sitting there sipping my cold Rolling Rock and talking to her I knew then that her search for an old used book store on some unknown street has salvaged me from closely having an unmemorable trip even if it was to happen on the last day.

Labels: , , , , ,