The Big Wave

by Mayumi Haryoto ::: Studio Shika

Year of Pig

Park Bench Society wish you a very happy lunar year

License to Masturbate

"We're not only a worldwide agency, we offers integrated communication solutions as well". That is more or less the message that are send across when you browse through the agency credential in an Adobe Flash Player format.

"Let's give the client a 360 degrees approach" are often mentioned in the board room discussion during initial sharing session every time a new pitch came along the agency's way. These new pitches, when they come along our way they really rush through the pipeline just like this February rains that hit Jakarta and and flooded more than half of the city. Speaking of the recent Jakarta flood, while some might think that this writing not really knocked on facts....although I do think it is, one thing I can say for sure is that Sutiyoso who is the governor of Jakarta is absolutely and undeniably a real asshole for turning the city public open spaces into a commodity and exchangeable to commercial places which makes the city land totally helpless in absorbing rain falls.

Anyway, retreating from that line of thinking let's get back to that integrated communication solutions consisting of so many lines from above, below, and striking smack in the middle through it that would be enough to makes any heads dizzy. The kind of dizziness that comes not only from too much information but also the lack of basic understanding of what they really are. Sometimes I can sense that the client does not understand what the hell it is that they are seeing in the presentation slides and probably more concern on how much all that is going to cost their brand expenditure. The more sophisticated client on the other hand knows exactly what are the problems the brand faces and the kind of solutions that they needs and feels that they are being offered more than what they required. It's like either offering someone who shop in K-Mart an outfit by Alexander McQueen or showing a pair of Porsche in different colors to someone who already have a 10 rooms villa in Majorca overlooking the Mediterranean sea. Just from the brief they wrote you can get a sense of what they are looking for and the kind of urgency that need immediate solutions they seek from their agencies.

It's funny to see how instead of taking a careful look at the brief everyone start to think they can turn the client's brand into a distinguish brand and got all excited with "let's show them everything we have" attitude. True, an all around approach to a brand communication can never hurt the brand given the strategy is based on a insightful platform. So don't you say that I don't have that "let's win this pitch" outlook because I do. As unconventional an Ad man as I am, although not crazy at all about award winning ad, I do realize at the end of the day it's all about the freaking billing and bottom line. And if I am lucky it would also means bonuses permitting the Gods of the advertising universe are being merciful to the mortals.

Nevertheless, the facts that are sometimes forgotten in the midst of these excitement are the urgency and priorities that the client seek for that particular campaign, not to mention budget constraints which will always be the angel of death in white hooded robe ready to strike with its sharp scythe any creative ideas, even good ones if they threaten to exceed the life of the corporate balance sheet. So to come up with the all rounded approach combining the above, beyond and through the lines works sometime look more like a showcase of ego rather than for the sake of providing an integrated solutions.

But what kills me the most is to watch this bunch of highly skilled special agents with creative license do their operative planning involve little or no integrative thinking whatsoever between the inter - department personnel. The whole development process sometimes is all about one adapting to another's slide and expanding it. Still, it could turned out to be one hell of an artsy and comprehensive presentation at the end of the day. Will it actually of some use is still to be seen. If the client for some reason found it to be useful and they feel they can pay for it then it's great. Otherwise, to me the whole thing is just a creative masturbation and self - inflicting pleasure leaving nothing but cleaning up some spilled love stains at the end. Sure, go ahead have a beer and smoke afterward but for sure swallowing the cold beer and inhaling those nicotine is going to taste so much better if there were some passionate screaming that you've done with someone else just before that rather than shutting your eyes tight imagining some babes in a glossy magazines.

Some might argue that getting it off that way still feels great. I could relate to that, really. I mean in that last few seconds you don't really care whether you're alone or with someone who will let you come inside her or let you stay inside her mouth so she can swallow everything. It really doesn't matter, does it ? So I guess I still have the right to go have a cold beer and a smoke afterward just as if I actually had a real sex.

But here's a thing that will be hard to swallow even for the cheapest, ugliest, horniest and desperate street whore who would readily give you a blow job in the filthiest public toilet. Better yet, here's another analogy. There are two things that a guy fear the most during intimate moments. One is he can't get it up and the other is pre - mature ejaculation.

For the sake of being a good team player you have gone through that whole process of trying to came up with an integrated views on your part that will hang nicely with the mass communication method of the other team. Everyone is then feels good that this all around approach will give all the necessary leverage to the whole campaign. Of course I have prepared myself with a cold beer and a pack of cigarette for the afterward and sometimes I have to admit I can even bring myself looking forward to the afterward smoke and self - cuddling. So come the presentation day and everyone is all gungho and thirsty for client's blood. After which you found out something terrifying during the presentation through all the politeness the client can pull together. Either they told you that they don't need to hear your part of of the presentation or they put up with the whole presentation and later told you that for now just as mentioned in the brief, they only needed to focus on the other communication method. Perhaps on a later phase they would go with the direction you have proposed in your part.

Now, this happened to me twice this week on two different campaigns. Imagine this, you're lying there naked in bed with your woman and say "this never happen to me before" or " it's not you, it's me". But if that happens twice in a week with that same woman I can say you will either started to get really pissed with yourself or looking for someone to blame. One thing for sure you can't bear to think that this woman will start thinking you are another asshole in town besides the governor.

Image done by mikofanclub on Flickr

View From A WIndow

The usual morning ritual properties consisting of a cup of hot black coffee and the day's newspaper were already placed on top of the desk. On the background the voice of a news presenter from the television giving the first breaking news of the day can be heard slightly. The female newscaster's voice which was now turned into Mandarin after delivering the English news version was barely heard as the volume was turned low and just enough to travelled the hearing distance just in case there was some really important news that needed attention.

The scent of the freshly brewed coffee flowed out the open window of this second floor room passing the wet roof garden of an open outdoor space adjacent to the room. The rain that fell at dawn a few hours ago still left its mark on the wet rooftop and on the tropical garden below. Raindrops can still be seen rested on the Hibiscus flowers . This tropical plant was tall enough that some of its dark red flowers could be seen trying to climbed up to the edge of the window. I remembered the day I bought that plant about two years ago was only as tall as my knees.

I shifted my view from the window and looked around my room and can still felt the chill from the air condition until I shut it off moments ago. The left over man - made chill mixed with the natural breeze of an "after the rain" morning from the open window gave me this autumn - like feelings replacing the usual tropical morning weather. Meanwhile, the shinny wet roof and raindrops still clinging on the flowers and the scent of musky wet earth somehow approriately added the overall feeling of a breezy autumn day.

I'm looking at the red Hibiscus flower now. No raindrop rest on it. The sun is shinning brigthly and hot. No time to even turn on the TV and barely finish my instant semi- hot coffee.

It's been a long while and I really miss that view from a window....

Image source: http://www.ikies.com/

Two Soybeans Ritual

"You did what ??!" I remembered screaming that before waking up. I looked at the digital number on my cell phone, 5.24 am. Damn, the stupid bad dream which I couldn't even remember what was it all about now is making me wide awake. I looked around my bedroom still not wanting to be parted from the warmth cocoon of my comforter and try to search for the daylight coming through the crack of my bedroom window curtain. It was still dark outside. I lie there underneath my blanket and looked again at my W550i Walkman phone, 5.27 am.

"Might as well get out of bed" I thought to myself. I threw the comforter off my body, and felt the chill of the air conditioned room. Walking toward my desk I grabbed the cold mug of coffee from last night and took it with me. I sat down in the chair and sipped my cold coffee while looking out the window. The sky is still grayish in color from the deficit of sunrise which should appear in the next few minutes. In the stillness of this early morning silence I can hear the Ikea wall clock ticking showing the time to be 5.29 am.

"What are you doing ?" I said.
"The usual, preparing for breakfast"
"You drink your milk yet ?" I asked again.
"Of course, I'm making tofu now"
"How many, two as usual ?" I was half guessing and asking at the same time.
"Yup, you had breakfast yet?"
"I will later, maybe Belgian waffle" I said grinning to myself at the thought of having the hot thick waffle with butter and maple syrup.
"Be right back, I think my tofu is done"

I look back out the window and can now see the sun already out. The red hibiscus flower that grew on one of the tallest branch near the window is wet from the morning mist. I turned on the TV and switch the channel to the morning news. Not really watching I turned back to the view from my window and take another sip of my cold coffee.

"I'm back"
"Hey there, you had your tofu?" I asked.
"Yes"
"That was quick" I said.
"You ate yet?"
"Nope, later" I answered.
"Don't forget your vitamins"
"I won't" smiling at the reminder.

The voice of the newscaster on TV is now switching to Mandarin. I watch the sub-title text to follow the news a little bit.

"Be right back again, k?"
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"I'm just going to take out the the laundry and hang them to dry"
"K" I replied shortly.

All of a sudden I heard the scream of the alarm from my cell phone. My hand frantically came out from underneath the warm comforter trying to search for the noisy handset to shut it off. I looked at the digital number display, 8.00 am.

I lie still for a moment feeling the warmth cocoon of my comforter and playing back the dream I just had. A short and forgotten bad dream within a nice long dream. I then threw the comforter off my body and walked towards the door.

I miss the two soybeans rituals.
I miss the view from the window.

I open my bedroom door and head straight to the kitchen to make myself a fresh brewed coffee. Passing by the Ikea wall clock the time is now 8.05 am.

Image Source: Agedashi Tofu